Time-boxing Emotions

One of the most useful tools in managing my emotional state I use is to: time-box emotions.

I use this with disempowering emotions such as shame, guilt, dread, etc.

Before, when I felt these disempowering emotions coming, and they would just come out of the blue or after new information, like the news - I would try and “fight it out” inside my head. I would argue with the emotion, denying it - look for new information to counter it. When that doesn’t work, I would ignore it by doing mindless things, such as reading more news, watching TV, etc. - sometimes even avoiding work!

No matter what, I would do anything to deny or avoid that emotion.

Ultimately, that emotion would come back and haunt me at the worst possible time. Those times are always when I want to be my best.

Time-boxing

What I would do now when a negative emotion comes to me, I would sit back and see what’s going on with it. Do light analysis - where did it come from? What triggered it? Find the source and identify the emotional response inside me.

Next, I would tell myself:

I acknowledge you emotion - your feeling is right and I will take the knowledge you’re giving me.

Then I set a timer and let that emotion go through me - as much as it wants. I won’t stop it, I will be open to the emotion. Just as if I was feeling emotions such as joy or happiness. I am present with that emotion.

When the timer finishes, I come back to reality and tell myself:

Thank you emotion for that insight. I will take this information and move forward.

Results

This definitely sounds so meta-physical - and a way, they are. Yet, emotions are a key element to being human. If we want to feel joy, we need to feel the dread.

With time-boxing emotions, you won’t feel the emotions you don’t want all the time. You don’t carry the emotion with you as emotional baggage. You let the emotion play out and provide the information you need.

After using this technique, I feel more clarity with myself - I am “fighting with myself” less.

I am preesnt more.