Trans Day of Visibility is March 31st, coming up in a little over a month. This year, I’d like to run a trans Q&A, because I think it’s really important and helpful to spread information about trans and nonbinary experiences.

Ask me the questions you have about being trans, being nonbinary, gender, trans history, questioning, exploration, hatching, coming out, gender-affirming care, etc. In an upcoming post on March 31st, I’ll do my best to answer the questions I receive, or provide links to people who are more knowledgable on the subject.

The question form is available at the end of this page, or you can click here.

Feel free to submit several questions, or even many questions. All submissions are anonymous.

If we know each other directly (i.e. we’ve talked, in person or online), feel free to ask me your question directly, so we can discuss the answer further. In that case, you can choose whether you’d like me to put the question on the answer post or not.

Questions are welcome from people from any background. Feel free to ask basic questions, terminology questions, life questions, technical detailed questions, theory questions, speculative questions, questions from a cis perspective, a questioning or exploring perspective, a trans perspective, or a “I reject that whole system’’ perspective. All are welcome.

Context: About me

Here’s more stuff I’ve written about gender.

If you’d like to ask questions about specific experiences, feel free to do so, but be aware that I will only answer from my personal experience.

For context:

  • I am nonbinary and trans.
  • I use they/she pronouns, and I am transfem.
  • I am sapphic, and specifically I am attracted to women and nonbinary people.
  • My egg cracked (i.e. I realized that I am nonbinary) about four and a half years ago, and I started coming out to people then.
  • I have been maximally out, announcing my nonbinaryness as publicly as possible, for around two years.
  • I am taking gender-affirming HRT, namely estrogen and antiandrogens. I have been taking HRT for 10 months.
  • Before I cracked my egg and came out, I actively explored my gender for about six years.
  • Before I was actively exploring, I questioned my gender in private for at least another five years – my memory gets hazy before puberty.
  • Before I was consciously questioning, there were signs that I was nonbinary, which I didn’t know to interpret as such at the time.
  • I am a scientist, and I work in academia. My egg cracked and I came out while I was getting my PhD. I am now a postdoctoral researcher, and I will soon be starting my position as a tenure-track professor.
  • I am American, I have lived in the US my whole life.
  • I was raised Jewish (reform). I am now an atheist, and I identify with cultural Judaism.
  • I have ADHD.

Question Guidelines

I am happy to answer a wide range of questions. However, I won’t answer overly graphic questions (genitalia, for instance), though I may link to outside resources.

If I get many similar questions, I may summarize them and answer them as one.

If the premise of the question is incompatible with the reality that I am trans and nonbinary, I will challenge the premise rather than answering the question directly.

If you’re not sure whether to ask a question, go ahead and ask it.

I will post my answers on March 31st, Trans Day of Visibility.