What to do When You are Expecting Another Child
It’s been one year now since my second child arrived and these are things that I found to be easier and harder.
Things that are easier
Anything regarding the health of the child, such as:
- diapers
- feeding
- sleeping
- colds
- what to do with the child
I felt like I was on auto-pilot with my wife on these. Things we found to be “crazy” the first time around are now normal. I took the best action from the first child and applied it. Easy, right?
Things that are harder
At the higher level with siblings, things get more difficult.
Taking care of first child while taking care of second. The second will be easy because, it’s your second. The first is still there and facing new challenges (that you haven’t faced). The interactions with them will be another challenge.
If the first child is responsible enough, you can “delegate” and have life easier.
Defence
With the first child, the “defence strategy” was:
- double team - two parents, one child
- man-to-man - one parent, one child
Managable in any situation. One parent can definitely “take on” a child.
When the second child came, the defence strategy changes to:
- man-to-man - one parent, one child
- zone - one parent, two children
Which, depending on the parent capability, zone defence can be challenging.
The sports defence analogy with parenting is not perfect, because the zone defence is only true if all children are the same age. when their ages are different, you need to have different strategies for them. Don’t forget, the first child is still there with challenges you haven’t solved yet.
Joy of Parenting
When I announced to my team about our second child, a colleague - KB, said: “1+1 does not equal 2”. How right they are! This is probably because you are reading one playbook for your second child while writing a new playbook for your first child.
At the same time, the joys of parenting increases with a second child.
Taking my second child to their first pediatrician visit. My wife did all of that the first time. This time, not only did she want to spend time with our first child, she wanted me to do this.
With my second child, I appreciate their developments more as I know what to do. I am not on edge every moment about their well being and I am presnt with them instead of analyzing the situation. (Thanks SB!)
Finally, by the time you have a second child, you have more of a network of other parents around. That by itself is invaluable.