Loving you wasn’t easy.

You constantly challenged me, made me question my own preconceptions, my hang-ups: and I wanted to break down the boundaries of my comfort zone and confront those issues.

You were so much wiser, smarter and more more talented than me: and that inspired me to become so much better myself.

You showed me a mirror that revealed my own shortcomings and failings: and I saw all the things that I disliked about myself, and wanted to change and improve.

You had faith that I could still be a better person, even though I’d given up hope on myself; and you gave me the courage to challenge the demons of my past.

You helped me recognise the hole inside myself, the belief that I could never love or be loved again; and you helped me restore the faith that I had lost.

I know it was foolish of me, but sometimes you frightened me, you set such high standards for yourself, and I knew that I could never live up to those same standards, no matter how hard I tried. I could only set the bar for myself, forgive myself when I failed, and try again and again.

I was both scared and in awe of your passion for the things that you believed in, that made your eyes dance and your colours swirl about you: and I wanted to break down my restraints and show my own passions.

The very things that made loving you so difficult were the very things that I loved most about you.

I felt goosebumps when I looked in your eyes because I could see your soul, so strong and bright and beautiful; I sometimes trembled just looking at your pictures; you stirred so much feeling in my heart.

I felt so happy when we were together, and it hurt when we were apart. I felt alive when I was with you. There was so much that I wanted to share with you, but never found the courage to do so.

Loving you wasn’t easy; but I could never help the way that I felt. You made me complete, and that is why I loved you.